Things Undone
by Roslyn Hawke
Summary: Fenris and Warrior F!Hawke in a angsty then fluffy battle with each other. Who knows where it will lead!
1. Brooding Thoughts

"Damnit!" Fenris shouted as his armored fist hit the wall.

After years of searching for his former captor, he was finally free. Danarius was dead, killed by his former slave's lyrium laced hands. Fenris could finally be at peace. But he wasn't at peace. Not at all.

He paced the floor in front of the ashen fireplace, muttering to himself as he went.  
"You fool, you could have been happy. You could have had a chance at something better."

It had been three years ago, almost to the day, and not one moment went by that she wasn't on his mind. It was bad enough to have the cowardly decision he had made replaying over and over again in his mind, but to also see her daily - to look and know he would never again be allowed to touch - it was almost unbearable. Although Marian was strong, he could see that the spark in her eyes had faded. There were days when they fought side by side, caught up in the heat of the battle that her eyes would light up again. But when the fight was over, Marian would look at him, panting from exhaustion with a satisfied smile on her face. And as quick at it had appeared the smile would fade, and the excitement would pass. He knew he was the cause of her pain.  
_"But how do I fix this? How do I confess a feeling that I have denied to myself for years? Not only that, but to confess to a person who can barely stand to look at me?" _he thought to himself.

Fenris picked up one of the empty wine bottles that littered his mansion's floor. He threw it as hard as he could at the wall, hoping for some relief from his anger. When no relief came, he grabbed one of the last full bottles and sank into his chair. The sudden movement caused a book to fall off his mantle and land at his feet with an obnoxious thud.

"The Little Dragon Who Razed a Village," he said out loud with a smirk coming to his lips.

Hawke was teaching him to read with this book. She had always loved it as a child and took the time to sit with him patiently as he slowly stumbled through the words. He never told her but he always looked forward to their reading lessons. Being able to finally make sense of the words that he dismissed as unnecessary in the past, gave him a sense of freedom from his former life. Although he grumbled and complained through his lessons, he was grateful for her persistence – although he would never tell _her_ that. However, after their night together and his shamefully abrupt exit, she never mentioned his reading lessons again. The book had sat on the mantle, untouched and gathering dust, for three years.

Fenris cracked it open, blowing the dust away, and taking a long drink from his bottle of wine.

"Once the-er-ere, there was a dr-draa-drag-on, dragon named ssss-kip Skip," he read out loud to himself, pretending for a moment she was there to listen.

Just looking at it now made him sick to his stomach. He tossed it into the fireplace with a hard force, making the ashes scatter about the brick, "Fuck you and your damned dragon," he screamed as he threw a lit match onto the now wine-soaked book. Within a moment it was in a blaze and he threw a few more bits of paper and wood into the flames, "Better to not freeze to death, I suppose."

Fenris slumped back into his chair, letting out a deep sigh.  
"Ay, Maker..." he said as he put his head down, massaging the front of his forehead.

He wasn't mad at Hawke, he could never be mad at her. She had remained fighting at his side, helping him to destroy the one piece of his past that held him back. She did so without question, and with a vengence almost as strong as his own. She could have made him leave, given up on him, but she allowed him to stay.

Varric had been the only one to notice, three years ago, that the tension had changed between two of them. Hawke had become quieter when Fenris was around and rarely joked as much as she once had. Fenris had withdrew into himself, so much so that Varric stopped calling him "Broody" and started calling him "King of the Brooding Broody Elves". Fenris knew she had talked to Varric not long ago, finally conviding in him what had happened that night. He only knew because Varric kept giving him cold glances during their travels, and simply referring to him as "Elf", when he referred to him at all.  
As the warmth of the wine began to wash over him, Fenris began reliving what had transpired that day. Not only had he finally met, and in doing so, quickly killed his sister, but he was finally free from Danarius' wrath. Hawke let him have the final blow, forever changing what was to become of his future. When the glow of his lyrium lines faded, he had looked up at a her, meeting her green eyes for only a moment.  
"Are you ok, Fenris?"she had asked, gently touching his heavily amored shoulder.  
"Don't TOUCH me! Just...just...leave me alone! I NEED to get out of this place!" he screamed at her with such a vigor she jumped back, cowering like a scared child.

Then he stormed out of the dark tavern, and didn't stop until he was alone in his cold, dark and ever lonely mansion.  
The very memory of that moment made his heart reel in pain.


	2. Hawke's Reaction

Hawke stormed into Varric's room, tossing her helmet and sword into the corner.

"Aggrrhh! That STUPID man!" Hawke screamed. "What am I supposed to do with that?"  
"Well, you could try NOT doing anything with that, Hawke," Varric replied as he followed her into his private room at the Hanged Man Tavern. He placed two beers on the table, hoping to convince her to sit down and stop pacing the length of the room.  
"Damnit woman, you're wearing a tread on my floor! Will you sit down already!"

"He makes my blood boil, Varric! I tried to be patient, hoping he would come around. I've done everything I can do find Danarius for him, and this is what I get," replied Hawke "a bloody mess in a tavern and stale beer." She reluctantly took the seat beside Varric and sighed.

Hawke _had _done everything in her power to help him. She had Aveline put guards on duty at the docks to keep watch for any sign that the mage had arrived. Merrill had been poking around the Alienage, frequently asking questions, and reporting back to Hawke when something seemed off. Anders (although hesitant at her request) was keeping an ear to the ground in Darktown, silently eavesdropping on his patient's conversations, letting her know when anything seemed worthy of looking into. Isabella looked into every tavern and brothel rumor she heard, keeping tabs around town with her cohorts. All of this - the spies, the guards, and even the thugs she had paid for information - she had done without Fenris knowing. She still cared for him, and clung to that night like it was yesterday. She hoped that if they found Danarius and killed him, that Fenris would finally feel free, and perhaps he would talk to her again. That thought was the only thing that kept her going, the only thing that kept her fighting by his side. She was not prepared for such a rude letdown. Danarius had been killed tonight and when Hawke reached out to him, Fenris screamed at her with such a beastly vigor, that he scared her. Three years with barely a word and this was the first full sentence she had gotten from him.

"I just don't understand, Varric." she said, shaking her head as she stared off into the distance.

"You know what I don't understand Hawke? Is how you can even give a shit about that nug humping asshole after all this time." he replied. "I mean, he just left you there, Hawke." Varric paused as a smile came across his face, "You know, the offer still stands, Chuckles," he gave a little head nod toward Bianca and started laughing. "maybe he'd like to have a night with her. I could arrange that."

Hawke was trying her best to brood, but that comment made her burst into a giggle, which ended with her and Varric laughing until their sides hurt. They took turns cracking perverse jokes about Bianca and Fenris, each one a little dirtier than the last. This continued on until they couldn't understand each other through the laughter. Soon the mood died down, and following a few more drinks, their conversation was becoming increasing louder.  
"You know what your problem is Hawke?" Varric asked, just slightly slurring his speech. "You are the most stubborn woman I have ever met. You're never going to change ol' Broody Pants' mind about things. It's been THREE years. You need to just let it go."  
"That's easier said that done," she replied. "am I supposed to just forget everything and go on like nothing happened?"  
"That is exactly what you are supposed to do, Chuckles."

Varric ordered them another round of drinks and they sat in silence for a few moments. Suddenly Hawke stood up, slamming her mug of ale on the table so hard Varric almost jumped out of his boots.

"NO!" she screamed "that son of a bitch is going to give me an explanation! After all this, that bastard owes me that much!"

"Maker's breath Hawke, you nearly gave me a damn heart attack" said Varric, almost choking on his beer. "You want me to come along? Bianca can be a very persuasive girl"  
"No, I'll be fine."

Marian stormed out of the tavern, making her way to Fenris' mansion so quickly you would have thought the next blight had started.

Fenris held his head down, running his hands through his silver hair.  
"I can't believe I just screamed at her like that. You fool, what were you thinking?", he mumbled to himself.

He had been sitting in that chair for over an hour, slowly getting drunk and feeling worse by the moment about what had transpired. This had to be fixed, and he had to fix it. He had already alienated Hawke once, destroying any chance of love he could have had with her. If that didn't do it, him screaming like an angry fool earlier most certainly had.

He had to make this right, or at least apologize for his outburst. When this thought finally crossed into his mind, he sprung up from his chair. Tossing the empy wine bottle from his hand he headed for the door.

A faint blue glow began to fill his lyrium etched tattoos as he walked hurridly to the door, growing more determined to make things right. Fenris reached for the door knob jerking the door open in a thrust. Before he even had time to react he was on the floor in a heaping pile of confusion.  
"Andraste's ass! What the hell?" he sneared.

He took a moment to to gather his composure and was left rendered speechless by what laid beside him on the floor, growling about like a mabari.  
"Hawke?"


	3. Fighting for Answers

"Hawke?" Fenris stared in disbelief at the woman writhing on the floor next to him.

"OF ALL THE…What the hell are you trying to do to me? You broody son of a…..UGH" Hawke screamed as she tried to put herself together and pick herself up off the floor.

Fenris pushed himself back up on his feet and tried to get his balance. He took one look at the disheveled warrior and sighed. "_Hawke must have been with Varric_." he thought, the smell of the tavern and ale filling his nose. Instinctively, he tried to help her up.

"Get your dirty hands off me elf!" she said extremely loudly. "It's bad enough I have to deal with your stupid mage-hating issue today, clean up your bloody mage-killing mess, and to top it off, I get this lovely welcome!"

Fenris smirked slightly. He loved how feisty she could be. No one in Kirkwall would dare mess with her. Her tongue was almost as sharp and quick as her sword, and both could cut deep.

"Hawke, I think you're a bit drunk." he said still smirking.

"Oh you're one to talk…" She kicked an empty wine bottle across the floor, and picked up another one holding it in front of him, wobbling just a little from her own intoxication. "How much wine is left in this one? Huh, Fenny?" she asked as she turned the bottle over, shaking it to prove it was also empty.

"_Aye Maker, she is a handful when she's been drinking." _ he thought to himself. "Enough Hawke," he said as he grabbed the empty bottle "I expect you didn't come over here just to help me clean up my floor".

"OHHHH the broody elf tells a joke!" she said as sarcastically as possible. "I didn't know you had any humor left in you, or any feelings for that matter."

Fenris was trying to hold his anger back, but the feeling was getting harder to keep under control. "_Don't mess this up again Fenris. She is angry, and has every right to be. Do not lose your temper at her again. Do not, do not, do NOT_" he kept thinking to himself.

Hawke made her way towards the fireplace which was crackling with warmth, running into his shoulder – hard – when she passed. She was hoping her last words would sink in. She came looking for a fight, and she wasn't leaving until she got one.

"Would you like something to drink, Hawke?" Fenris asked, gritting his teeth and forcing himself to be nice, despite the pain being with her caused him.

"Why yes I would. I will have a glass of some old, controlling mage's wine. Any of _that_ laying around this mess you call a home?" she said.

Fenris could feel the lyrium in his tattoos starting to burn. She knew exactly how to get under his skin. He took a deep breath and opened another bottle, pouring them both a glass of wine from Danarius' old stock. As he handed her the glass, his eyes glanced up, meeting hers. He quickly turned away and set the wine bottle on the table.

"Was there some reason you decided to come toppling into my doorway this evening, Hawke, or was annoying me on your list of things to do tonight?"

"Me? Annoy you!" she screamed. "Are you kidding me? You haven't said more than 5 words to me in three years, and then you scream at me like I'm your worst enemy!" A mix of nervousness and anger welled up in her throat as the words came out of her mouth, "THREE years Fenris. Nothing. Do you have any idea what that did to me?"

Fenris was trying his very best to keep up his brooding facade. As much as he wanted to tell her how he felt, he knew now that he couldn't. Clearly she hated him for what he had done before and for how he had acted towards her earlier. He had decided to remain keeping everything to himself and just let her be angry at him. Perhaps he would even go to Antiva and seek work there, leaving Kirkwall behind for good.

"No, I don't know what that did to you," he said, "and honestly I don't care. Your feelings are your own, and not something I'm concerned with." It pained him to be cruel to her, but it was for her own good. He turned from the table, half expecting to be met with a pout on her face, or maybe even a tear. However, as soon as he had turned around he suddenly felt a hot sting across his jaw.

"That's for leaving me alone you bloody knife-eared bastard!"

"Maker's breath, Hawke!" he stated, rubbing his jaw.

Fenris stood in shock for a moment, letting those words sink in, just barely ducking in time to react to another one of her punches.

"I came here to find out why you left that night," she said angrily "and clearly I got my answer."

Fenris looked defeated. This was not what he wanted. He wanted to hold her, to look in her eyes for more than just a moment. He wanted to read books to her again, and to laugh over a glass of wine. Once again, his fears got the best of him, and he was letting her slip out of his life, perhaps this time for good.

Hawke waited for him to respond, and when no response came she turned to leave. As she was walking towards the door a thought rushed into her mind.

"Wait just a minute!" She turned around quickly and started storming back toward him. "Where were you off to at such a late hour when I so gracefully fell into your doorway?"

"Off to?"

"Yes, I'm assuming you weren't just standing at your door waiting for someone to walk up just so you could jerk the door open and let them tumble in?"

"Well, I um…" A look of fear washed over his face. What excuse could he possibly have for going into the city alone at night? How could he even begin to tell her it was to find her and make this right? He tried to think quickly of a believable reason.

"I heard Merrill needed some help in the Alienage."

"Merrill? You can't stand her! Why would _you_ of all people run off to the Alienage to help Merrill, a blood mage? And at _this_ hour? Start telling me the truth elf!"

Hawke held her sword up to his neck. He knew it was an empty threat but it pushed him over the edge. Fenris pushed her away from him, his vines glowing blue.

"I don't owe you anything Hawke! It is of no business of yours where I was going!"

"I can make you talk Elf!" she said as she raised her sword again. "Now tell me where you were going! Leaving again? Your business here is now complete, so you thought you would just slip out in the night without saying a word?"

Hawke lunged at him with her sword, and he reacted by grabbing his and parrying to avoid her throw. The clashing sound of their weapons was only slightly louder than their angry words.

"I wasn't leaving Kirkwall in the shadow of night, you insane woman!"

"So then I suppose you were going to Isabella's little hovel? For a night cap of sorts? To celebrate your victory today, with a woman for the night? Typical of you, you brooding pointy-eared nug humper."

"Hawke will you stop th…Ow! Enough of this!" he shouted as her sword came down on his armor.

"NO! Talk to me damnit!"

She was breathing hard from their duel, and her anger was slowly being drained from the fight. Caught up in the quickness of everything, her words started coming to her faster than she could comprehend what was being said.

"Talk to me! Tell me why you left. Tell me why you wouldn't talk to me again."

"I can't Hawke." he said as he parried another one of her swings.

"Yes you can! I want to hear you say it Fenris! Say it! Tell me that night meant nothing to you! Tell me I meant nothing to you!" At this point she was not only fighting Fenris, but fighting back the tears from her eyes.

"I can't say that because it's not true," he said, heaving his sword to counter hers, pausing in between his words to take a breath, "in fact it's the very opposite of true! You are everything to me!"

She paused for a moment, their swords deadlocked between them, certain she had heard him wrong. She was sure the haze of alcohol was making her imagine things. Before she could react, Fenris had dropped his sword to the ground and opened his hands at his side.

"Hawke… kill me if you wish. I would rather die by your hands then spend one more moment in this agony without you"

Her sword slowly dropped to her side. Was she dreaming? Where was this coming from? Suddenly, his hands were on her face. He looked her in the eye with a gaze so strong, she was sure that if he wasn't holding her she would collapse.

"I have loved you for years, Marian."

He grasped her face tightly and pulled her in close to him, pressing his lips forcefully against hers. She was so shocked at his words that she almost pulled back. A sudden warmth washed over her completely and every ounce of anger she had felt washed away. She ran her hands into his hair and returned the kiss. As their embrace continued, it seemed that each one of their kisses was becoming more passionate than the last.

Fenris pulled away, and Hawke stumbled slightly. She wanted to linger in that moment forever.

"Please stay with me tonight Marian" he asked, brushing her hair to the side.

"I don't want to hurt you again Fenris." she said, slightly tracing the edging around his lyrium tattoos, as a reminder of the pain their last night together had caused.

"Nothing is more painful than being without you" he whispered as he kissed her forehead and looked at her with so much want, desire and love in his eyes, she couldn't have said no even if she wanted to.

* * *

Hawke stretched slowly as she rolled over in bed. She could feel the warm sunlight against her skin, and knew it was morning. She sleepily reached over to the space beside her, anxious to finally be able to kiss Fenris in the morning light. Opening her eyes to the brightness, she squinted and blinked back the pain reeling in her head from drinking the night before. The emptiness her hand suddenly felt beside her made her spring up.

He was gone. Again.

Hawke felt sick to her stomach. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have fallen for his sweet words once again? She sat there in silence for a moment, unsure of what to do next. A blur of fighting and words the night before were running through her head. Maybe she had dreamed it up? After all, she was known to embellish things in her mind when she had been drinking – a trait Varric always appreciated.

"Oh why didn't I listen to Varric?" she said out loud. Hawke put her face in her hands, and held back the urge to cry.

"Probably because he lies, cheats and drinks his way out of his problems." a familiar voice responded.

Hawke nearly jumped out of her skin. She looked up, her eyes blinking towards the sunlit door.

"Fenris?"

The look of shock on her face was enough to make him start laughing.

"I believe the term you used last night was…hmm…how did you say it? Knife-eared bastard?"

She blushed, clearly embarrassed. Had she really called him that?

"_Ugh, you and your big mouth, Marion_." she thought to herself.

He walked over to her and kissed her head, placing a wonderful plate of fruit and bread down in front of her.

"Don't worry, I won't hold that against you…for long." he chuckled at her, "Now what in the name of Andraste has you so upset first thing in the morning?"

"I'm sorry, Fenris. I…I thought you had left again."

"I told you last night, to never worry about that again. I'm not going anywhere. Well, except maybe into town to get you some breakfast. Are you aware I have no food in this entire house?" he said quite sarcastically.

Hawke giggled at that thought, "Well, unless you count fermented grapes as food, then yes I'm quite aware. However, I do prefer the fresh ones you have brought me this morning as opposed to the fermented ones…they don't leave such an impact on my head."

Fenris smiled at her, then sat and watched her as she helped herself to the food he had purchased from the market. He had never felt happiness like this before. And although it scared him a little, he didn't care. He wasn't afraid of the pain anymore. Actually, he had felt no pain on his skin last night while in her arms. He didn't want this to end.

"Marion, I have something else for you."

"OUY DOH?" she asked excitedly, her mouth stuffed a bit too full. She laughed and swallowed it down. "You do?"

Fenris reached under his leathers and pulled out a book.

"It took a little searching, and perhaps a bribe or two, but I got this for you."

Hawke took the book into her hands. "_The Dragon Who Razed a Village_" was written in gold leaf on the cover.

"Fenris, I gave this to you years ago. What do you mean you got this for me?"

"Well, I _might _have thrown your copy into the fire yesterday. I was angry at myself for pushing you away all those years ago and couldn't bare to look at it any longer." He grabbed the book from her hands and cracked it open, "Will you help me to read it again?" he asked softly.

Hawke felt slightly hurt and angry for a moment, but seeing that enduring look in his eyes made any bad feelings melt away.

"Of course I will help you again. I was hoping you would ask! However, first thing is first!"

Hawke leaped across the blanket and pulled Fenris to her. She kissed him and pulled him back with her.

"I fully expected morning kisses when I woke up, and I was disappointed." she said with a pout.

"Well, I can't have my lady disappointed!" he smirked and kissed her on the nose.

With that, Fenris fell into her arms, embracing her as if he would never hold her again. He planned on never disappointing her again, and he made himself a promise then, to never leave her side, no matter what was in store for them.


End file.
